It’s been 12 days without being able to hug, cuddle, smile, and laugh with my man, R.H., as he has been on a road trip with his Dad. R.H. is my security blanket, my oxygen, and he holds my heart in his hands. I have lived longer with him than without him — 24 years with, 15 without to be exact. We have been together longer than I lived with my parents.
R.H. and I in Washington D.C., August 2019
I have been holding down the fort at home with no hiccups, issues and not even any emotional setbacks, until today. See, today is Sunday and R.H. is making his way home. He should be home late Monday or early Tuesday. Knowing that he is almost home is making me so emotional; I am sure the lack of sleep from last night is not helping either.
I miss my man so much!
Many people don’t understand our relationship. I love that because it means R.H. and I have something extremely rare and maybe doesn’t exist anymore.
I have a tough time travelling without him, and my nights away are usually filled with anxiety. When I travel without him, I take one of his shirts to sleep in, often the one he is wearing while I am packing. Being that he is travelling and I am home, it’s been easier because my days are filled with work, family and routines. But today is Sunday, not Thursday…
I miss my man sooooo much. I am trying to be busy with my to-do list; and trying to think about anything but R.H. coming home…but nothing is working, and nothing is getting done. Normally, I can think my way out of things, but not today. Maybe I am tired, and perhaps my hormones are out of balance because of my ‘schedule.’ But what I do know is that I MISS MY MAN SO MUCH TODAY!!!!
Here are 4 things I learned about myself while R.H. was away.
1. I can do it!
When R.H. is home, he does many of the household chores. Whether it’s caring for the lawn with his monster tools (seriously, his mower runs on its own!), cleaning a carpet because our puppy had an accident, picking up broken bikes in the pickup truck and bringing them home for the boys to fix (their hobby), or even picking up the snow tires from the car dealership, R.H. does all these things and so much more. But all the tasks I mention above — I do them… ALL… without anyone’s help or input.
Me picking up a broken bike for the boys to fix – its their hobby
I have learned that I am a strong woman who, when needed, can do anything. Mind you, it may not look pretty, but I can figure things out, and I can do it! Completing these tasks also makes me appreciate all the things my man does for his family and that the boys and I can no longer take him for granted around the house.
2. Time is of the essence
Now, you are probably thinking, “Really, Sara? You are the time management guru, and you are just learning this now?” Let me tell you, when R.H. is home he is such a HUGE supporter of the journey and destination that we are on with Live Beyond Satisfied™ that my schedule is mine. He will do whatever it takes so that I can focus on building the community and the brand. With him away, my schedule is not mine.
When R.H. is away, if I am not working on our main business, I am with the boys or working through the household chores. By the time everything is done, and I have a bath, I am exhausted. I crawl into bed around 10:30 pm thinking that I can work on writing a course, posting on social or returning emails, but nope! I turn on Supergirl and fall asleep! Normally, I can go hard until at least 1 am every night.
Making it work
After the first three ‘wonky’ nights like this, I switched up my schedule during the day, and in doing so, I get more done and work on the brand, all before 5 pm.
I still don’t accomplish as much as I would like, but I get a lot done. This makes me realize that even though I am doing extremely well in managing my daily work schedule, there is still room for improvement.
I have come to realize that my time is very valuable and worth much more than the dollar value that I have put on it. Answering phone calls, emails and doing work that I cannot charge additional fees for (i.e. sending a quick report) need to be completed in a 30-minute block. They cannot be completed in the 2-hours I was giving it before running the businesses on my own.
3. I need to love my man and my boys harder
I have come to appreciate that every human being has a limited number of days on earth (not to get morbid) and it is time that I hug them a little tighter, laugh with them a little longer, and not to take life too seriously. Some things bug me, drive me bonkers, make me upset, and change my energy. It could be dishes left out, toys on the floor, empty toilet paper rolls or anything else you can think of that young teenage boys do without thinking.
These things are not worth getting frustrated or upset over. With R.H. away, the boys have more responsibilities to take on. If the boys don’t follow through on their duties, and the easy things like having a shower or putting their clothes away, instead of getting upset and changing the energy in the home, I remove privileges and money opportunities. Not only is everyone happier (the boys still huff a bit), but our relationships are growing stronger.
Wil pulled the dishes card from the chore chart
4. It’s time to live my fullest life with my man (and boys)
I was watching Sara Blakely‘s, founder and owner of Spanx, Instagram stories, and she was running some crazy triathlon in Sweden, up in the mountains. If you follow Sara you know that she doesn’t work out, she eats a lot of Cheez-Its and has four beautiful young children. She is not ‘your average’ triathlon runner. Sara shared as many moments as she could from her epic journey, and it inspired me to push myself to do things I would not normally do.
Things I am going to do for me
I am going to do things that I have only thought about. This means I want to train for endurance, bike along the quiet country roads (not gravel) and embrace the serenity, as well as prove to myself that I am strong enough to do it. In this same vein, I want to do a long-distance swim across a lake. I also want to get a tattoo or two (totally symbolic of my relationship with R.H.). I want to travel and truly experience everything it has to offer.
At home, I want to become a mom that truly supports her children in all their decisions, regardless if I think they are the right decisions for them. I want to support my boys by offering advice, not by controlling their lives, trying to make them into what I want them to become. I want to become my husband’s girlfriend, where we fall asleep laughing, wake up smiling and have date nights every week. And I want to renew my vows in a big way, every five years.
R.H. and I having fun, gettng photo bombed by Nate
There are many other things I want to do too! I want to live out my dreams of being a world-renowned speaker, impacting millions of people around the world. I also want to launch a podcast, write books and make people smile.
Living life to the maximum
It’s time to start living life to the maximum! 2020 brings my 40th birthday, and I want to live my next 40 years 1,000,000% better and more exciting than the last 40 years.
Sometimes we become so dependent on those in our lives that we lose ourselves in what they do for us. Please, do yourself a big favour and remember who you are and what you are capable of doing. And don’t forget to reach out to them and ask how you can serve them.
R.H., you are rock, my fortress and my forever. 😘❤😘❤😘❤😘❤