A Letter to My Business Friends – Lose Often

A Letter to My Business FriendsThis letter to my business friends is me being the BLACK SHEEP and opening my mouth… because I care about you!

Please, only hire coaches who have been through the trenches that you are going (or are going to go) through. Only hire mentors who have put in the work in their own lives and businesses. Only hire coaches that are not riding the coattails of someone else’s platform.

Make sure your coaches and mentors have at least 10+ years of self and business development, education and are where you want to be financially in life.

I say this because I have hired coaches and mentors that said they could help me, but couldn’t because I was further ahead than they were.

I hired coaches and mentors that cost me over $60,000 and I was never $60,000 ahead in my business.

And I have hired coaches who are coaching under a brand and because they took training, got certified and began to coach…out of a book. They could not help me because they never put in the work of building an actual business.

If your current coach or mentor is not helping to propel you forward or if you have not seen results within two weeks… Yes! I said two weeks! Then you may want to rethink your strategy.

Here is what I learned, from my mentor, Todd Herman, about all the different titles of coaching, training and mentorship


A Coach is someone who partners with a client, extracts information from the client, then unwraps it so the client can gain insights and see the ‘bigger picture.’ A coach doesn’t need content. They do need to have the ability to ask good questions. The focus is on the client and is all context.


A Consultant is an expert in their field who will unpack where a client is, give the context, identify the problems, solve the problems and do what needs to be done.

A letter to my business friends - lose often coach


An Advisor does a bit of coaching and consulting.


An Educator/Teacher/Trainer brings the content and is teaching that content. The focus is on the teacher and their skills, expertise and knowledge, not the client. There’s minimal context. It’s about learning and applying.


A Facilitator model is based on communication and collaboration. It’s about helping by thinking in a group environment. Having a group of people share data, understand one another and find solutions to problems. Facilitators do offer some content, but it’s very minimal and depends on the context of a situation.


And last but not least…Mentors! A Mentor is someone who’s already been where you want to be and agrees to take you under their wing, share their experiences, knowledge and wisdom to help you move up in the ranks. You spend time with them and learn through ‘osmosis.’ You immerse yourself in their world.

A letter to my business friends - lose often uphill

Your 5 People

You should hang out with five people you want to become like. Meaning, you would love to grow your business to the level of theirs, you would like to have their lifestyle because you want to give back or you simply want to personally up your game. Do you have these five people in your life? I wanted to become a millionaire before I was 40. So, for the last 12 years, I have surrounded myself with millionaires. And guess what…the rest is history (or her-story)!

AND I still surround myself with the people who are where I want to be in all areas of my life. They push me and hold my feet to the fire. Do you have these people in your life?

A letter to my business friends - lose often

Are you in the right room?

If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. Are you the person making the most money in the room? Then you are in the wrong room. If you are not failing, making mistakes or trying harder every day, then you are in the wrong room.

The people in your room should be expecting you to fail because everyone in that room would be testing, trying, experimenting and implementing. This leads to trials, errors, mistakes and failure… which all in that room would be celebrating these amazing successes!

Lose often

YES! I said successes because the right people in your room would say that everything in the above paragraph are successes. Why? Because …You do not learn from winning. You learn from losing. The worse you lose, the more you win! Trust me, I know from experience! I choose to fail/lose every day… because I try something different or new every day.

I hope you got a little something from this post and I hope it makes you think about your journey, who you are surrounding yourself with and maybe looking at failure and losing in a different way.

Love you,

😘 Sara L.

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