Today, I am writing from the aisle seat on an airplane. I have my computer on my lap, earbuds in my ears and Avengers Endgame is playing on my cell phone. I don’t think I have ever been so grateful for downloaded movies and earbuds. There is lots of action on this plane as it is headed to Orlando, Florida and you know what and who is in Orlando… M.I.C.K.E.Y.M.O.U.S.E. There are many happy, excited and nervous little ones on board. My heart melts for them and their parents because I remember being that mom. I want to jump out of my seat, hug their babies and tell the mommas that all is well, and people should know by now to bring headphones.
This is the first time in a long time that I am travelling out of the country solo and let me tell you, my nerves have gotten the best of me a few times. My nerves seem to turn into what I call tummy-anxiety, if you know what I mean.
The fear of the unknown
Sure, the fear of the unknown is scary. Whether it is travelling alone on a plane when you don’t know a thing about the pilots and they have my entire future in their hands, or whether it is deciding which fork in the road to take in life. Or maybe it is simply trying a different dish at your favourite restaurant… like who does that? Not me! No-sir-ree-bob… The Keg is always the New York striploin with twice baked potatoes, green beans, mushrooms, and frizzled onions.
To be honest, even writing the above paragraph about the plane, while on the plane, made my stomach sad.
Have you ever felt fear similar to what I mention above?
It doesn’t matter where the fear creeps in or why it shows up because all fear feels the same.
When fear turns into worry
Fear turns into worry, which turns into stress. Believe me, I know because I have dealt with anxiety since I was 15 years old. Whether it was large crowds (ten people would be too many for me), walking through the mall, going to fairs or sitting in a school assembly. Also being on buses, planes or really any area where I was around people.
Back before we had caller ID, anxiety would hit when the phone would ring. I would be so scared to answer it, nervous that the person calling was going to yell at me or ask for money that I did not have. Shall we talk about the doorbell ringing? I was extremely nervous to answer the door of my home, afraid that I would have to tell a solicitor ‘no thank you’ or a religious organization that I was not interested. I worried that I may have to invite someone into my home and entertain them. Even writing this and remembering the feelings makes me anxious.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘Recalling memories of the past, brings them to the present, as if you are reliving the experience all over again.’ – @SaraLClarke” quote=”Recalling memories of the past, brings them to the present, as if you are reliving the experience all over again. – @SaraLClarke”]
There are other ways anxiety would find its way into my mindset. Things like raising my boys and being a good enough mom, trying too hard to be the perfect wife, daughter, bookkeeper, speaker and everything in between. Anxiety cripples many people, but for me, it makes me live, and sometimes sleep, in the bathroom. It sucks!
How I deal with living and growing a life I love while living with so much fear and anxiety
I beat it! Instead of letting anxiety win, I kick it in the ass, and I choose to take charge of my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I choose to be bigger than my feelings. My inner superhero is unleashed and I become the person I am destined to be! I choose to embrace the ‘goosies’ (goose bumps) instead of the fear. I choose to turn my anxiousness into excitement.
Here are some of the things that I do to move past fear, worry and anxiety.
1) Turn the feeling of anxiety into excitement
I learned this from reading many books and listening to my mentors’ videos on YouTube. One of the best teachers of this is Mel Robbins. I relate so well to her because she too has (had) anxiety about speaking on stage and being around people. Click here to watch a video that I love from Mel.
You see, the feeling of anxiety and excitement are actually the same feeling. It is how you internalize, rationalize and allow the feeling to affect you. I now tell myself that I am SO excited to… finish the sentence with whatever it is I am doing or going through. Right now, I am literally repeating that sentence over and over.
“I am SO excited to be on this plane, heading to Orlando to work with my mentor. I cannot believe that I get this opportunity and I am so grateful for this airplane because if it did not exist, I would have to drive to Florida and that is not something I want to do. So, thank you universe for the opportunities that I have right now, the people who are keeping me safe, and for this excitement that I am feeling right now.”
Repeating this and feeling the emotion of excitement, to the point where I am giddy in my seat, actually calms my nerves, calms my tummy and puts a smile on my face and in my heart.
2) Music… And Lots of It
Music, no matter the genre one likes, soothes the soul. Putting earbuds in or blaring the music brings forth a huge change in energy and emotion. I love me some Will.I.Am, Black Eyed Peas, Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson, Fergie, Taylor Swift, JLo and my newest addition to my playlist is Post Malone. There are many songs on my playlist, maybe they will help you? Click here for my list on YouTube.
3) Movies… Movies and More Movies
As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post, right now, on this airplane, while writing this, I have my earbuds in and I am watching/listening to Avengers Endgame. Side note, writing while watching a movie is a superpower that I possess. Don’t ask me how because I don’t comprehend how I can do it, but I can.
Movies take my mind off of my negative thoughts and feelings and switches them to happy, positive and powerful thoughts and feelings. The movies I watch are super powerful with positive energy and have a strong success story and give me the knowing that I am so much bigger than my thoughts, feelings and emotions. Some of the movies on my list include: Marvel (Avengers and everything in between), DC Comics, The Greatest Showman and when I need a feel good, happy ‘girly movie’ it is the 6-hour BBC Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth. I also love movies like Remember the Titans and Facing The Giants, not for the football, but for the meaning and outcomes of these type of movies. I have watched/listened to these movies more that I care to admit.
4) Meditation, Prayer or Whatever You Call It
I don’t get hung up on the name of a practice, I get hung up enjoying the practice. I don’t sit and empty my brain to think of nothing. For me, that is impossible. There is no point in even trying because when I do clear my thoughts and empty my brain, I end up receiving downloads for new ideas. When I meditate, I think of all the things that I am grateful for. The people, opportunities and riches that I have in my life. Next, I envision what I want my tomorrow to be and seek out what the next steps are for me to take towards that future. Lastly, I focus on who I can help and how I can help them. This process of meditating is something that I have created. I did not learn it from someone, aspects of it of course, but this process is one that I created because nothing else was working for me.
(Side note, the person beside me asked me if I was writing a book. I replied, “no, I am writing a blog post.” I must look very intense and focused right now).
5) Beat My Chest
No joke… when trying any one of the above and I am still not in the excitement zone, I beat my chest. Not like Tarzan, but more like Celine Dion or the Hulk. Bringing your body into your activity makes the transition a lot faster. I have heard this from many people, including Tony Robbins and I have read it in You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I dare you to try it. Whether you are pumping yourself up with self-talk or singing along with your favourite song, stand like a superhero and beat your chest!
These are five of the processes that I use to move from fear, anxiety and worry into joy, excitement and high energy. If you are dealing with any negative thoughts, feelings or outcomes, I invite you to try out 1, 2 or all 5 processes that I use. I know that they will help you to control your thoughts and change your energy to work for you and not against you.
Study You Are A Badass
I mentioned the book You Are A Badass and let me tell you that I LOVE this book. I have been studying and teaching how to unleash your inner superhero for over five years now. Jen hits this subject so perfectly. If you are interested in reading the book and diving deep into the words so that you can change your today, tomorrow and be able to unleash your inner superhero, then I invite you to checkout my online course, which is completed on the students schedule, Guided Study for You Are A Badass. The course is filled with videos, questions and exercises that will help you get more out of this book then if you were to just read through it on your own. You can find out more by clicking here.
Oh, remember at the beginning of this blog post when I mentioned that I am sitting in the aisle seat of the airplane? Well, quick story for you.
Manifesting what you need & want
When I checked into my flight last night, the airline gave me a middle seat. I thought to myself ‘I hope that I am not sitting between a couple.’ I got on the airplane and took my seat, well what I thought was my seat. I ended up sitting in 15B instead of 15E. When I figured this out, I looked across the aisle and there was a gentleman sitting in my seat. I asked him if he was okay sitting there and he replied with, ‘this is where I want to sit, next to my partner.’ Seriously… I would have been sitting between a couple. The thought that I had last night was a word of knowledge. The gentleman then offered me his aisle seat and I jumped up and accepted it. I manifested the seat, which equated to a happy tummy! No worry to be had in having to interrupt people when I need to get up and use the washroom.
Until next week my friend!
XO – Sara L. Clarke